Something even more different: Crying.

August 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm (General) (, , , , , , , , , )

I’m a rather manly guy if I was to say so myself. I don’t understand the concept of “metro-sexuality” and “being in touch with your feminine side”. I prefer wearing jeans, I laugh loudly and sometimes hit my friends a little hard as a joke, I tell rude/obscene jokes, don’t care about having an unkempt beard in public and so on. I’m not saying that this is the definition of “manly”, I’m just saying that I see myself as such. If people like the “metro-sexuality” and like being in touch with your feminine side, all the more power to you. Now to the real point.

What is so wrong about crying if you are a man? Of course, I might be slightly out of touch with reality by now, and it might be more widely accepted now. Which is also a little why I’m writing this.  You see recently my girlfriend broke up with me. She was the kind of woman which you fit so well, that it was a one in a million fluke. At least I thought so. So she was/is the love of my life. Of course that can change, since I’m still not old enough to be able to say that definitely. So when she broke up with me, I cried! Sometimes I’m still on the verge of crying, or at the very least really sad.

That same day I had an important meeting I had to go to, and we had broken up just an hour or two before so I really didn’t feel up to it. I also kept hoping that I wasn’t going to start crying when outside. Of course I didn’t but I started again  5 minutes after I had returned home.

But now that I am sitting here with a my head a little more clear. WHY? Why do we guys care so much about not crying in front of each other? And is it really so wrong for guys to cry? We all have feelings, no matter if you are male or female. So why not actually express them?

Let’s try and have a discussion? What do you think about crying, both as females and males? Should a guy cry, or should he always try not to? Is there a limit to what we should cry about? Do you cry when you get moved? Do you cry when something hurts? Or do you never cry? So what do you think?

Guys or girls! Men or women! Come in, give me a comment what you think, write a blog post about it, tease me, flame me, troll me, bully me, whatever. Just give me your thoughts about crying! Doesn’t even have to do with male’s crying, just crying in general! Come on, I challenge you to a discussion!


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Something different: Why mother? Why father?

July 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm (General) (, , , , , , , , )

First thank you for all the people who liked my short little writing practice yesterday. I was trying to go for something a little fun and suspenseful and I hope I succeeded.
But today I was thinking of something different. The topic is “Dangerous Parents”. No I’m not talking about parents who have killed or robbed sometime in their life, but parents that are “dangerous” towards their children. You see, I really don’t understand how parents can treat their children like they are their plaything or the like.

You see recently I read an article about mothers that took pictures of their children and sold them to a pedophile (yes it’s in Japanese, so sue me). It was 6 mothers that had  taken pictures of their children ranging from 7 months to 8 years old and then had sold them to a pedophile. I’m not going to go into why they did it, because I feel like it doesn’t really matter. I’m not even going to say that they are evil people, since I don’t even believe in that kind of thinking.

But I do wonder what they were thinking about? I mean, how can parents be so cold to their children. Do they even know what they are turning their children into when they treat them like this. I’m not saying that this is the worst thing I have read or heard about, nor that Japanese is the worst offender when it comes to treating their children like crap. I mean everyone has heard of Fritzel by now right?

Our children are not “things” to be messed with. Parents have their duty to raise their children properly, not to hurt them! We are supposed to protect them, not destroy them. That is why “we”, the society, is sometimes removing children from their parents. Children are our future and our hope. It’s our duty and privilege to raise them and do our best in giving them the correct tools so they can make their own “correct” decisions. Not to use and abuse them as you see fit!

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A book with no name: A good start.

July 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm (Writing) (, , , , )

’Good night’ I said with a mumble, almost as if it was to the world rather than any person. I had always thought of saying that as the last thing to say if I ever were to die. Of course there was always the chance that I wouldn’t be capable to, but I was always hoping. “Good night” seemed the correct phrase, since the doctors always said “Don’t worry, it’s like falling asleep”.  I had still decided. “No way I am going to die like that, in a hospital bed.” Thankfully for me, I never got the chance to. Of course, now I wouldn’t get to see the end of my favorite hospital drama either! What is going to happen between that sexy doctor and the nurse? Is the nurse ever going to get that hammer removed from her skull? And will the doctor ever get his brain back? Oh no, and what about their child growing in the nurse’s stomach? And will they ever tell us how two men could get pregnant like that? And then the last thought I had was, “Huh! Is this… really… my only… regret?”. I died…. Or so I thought!

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You make me ashamed of being called a human being!

October 23, 2010 at 10:39 pm (General) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Have you ever felt that way when talking to someone? Or when watching someone on TV? You sit there in your sofa see a person utter something so stupid that you get ashamed to be even associated as the same species! Ever wonder how some people can be so stupid or jump to conclusions that just doesn’t make sense!

I do! And a lot more often than I like. I, a guy with opinions and ideals, hardly even join in to online conversations because of it. I can read a post that someone has written that is so utterly and totally stupid that my mind can’t even understand what the heck he is talking about. I often hear to boot people that flame a game/guy/girl/show/movie and whatever and have not only completely missed the vital parts but without even knowing anything about it! I read and hear people talking about movies like they have seen it without even having seen it. They just take everything at face value, they don’t investigate or even try to understand.

Why do so many PEOPLE want to be ignorant? I mean it’s not like even half of the “stupid” people really are lacking in brainpower. No it’s more like they just don’t want to know or think for themselves, which is the only reason we even can call ourselves something other than animals. So WHY? Is it really because of the anonymity of the internet that makes us such morons and hateful that we must flame people? Calling each other “n00b” just because someone did a little mistake. Calling each other “morons” or “bigots” at the drop of a word on a message board about a movie. Is it FUN? Is it EXCITING? Is it EASIER?

I have been feeling this for quite a while now. I mean there are a lot of people around who keep on spouting beliefs at me. Such stuff as “Marijuana is bad for you!” or “Let’s trust our government, they know what to do!”. I mean, it’s not even hard to keep up with the latest news and information, or even finding old information, yet people never investigates and try to find the facts, or try to look at the research that have come out and form their own opinion. That is probably the worst trait with “humans”. To not even have an informed opinion of whatever they believe. I mean, if a religious person has looked at the facts/research and their own religions history and litterature and still chooses to believe in their own religion, all the more power to them. It’s such things that get my respect!  But every time I see someone just choosing to flame someone, if I ever had respect of that person that would be lost.

Don’t think that I’m actually talking like everyone is stupid, it’s just that so many of “us” choose to take their own politicians and news at face value and not criticize or even question the politicians own “know-how”. I mean there could easily be people, and probably are, that want to legislate certain things because THEY believe things that could be completely wrong. Yet only a handful of people even listens up and tries to understand that person. Is he STUPID? Does he have an AGENDA? Or is there something else behind it? An example is the US of A’s recent “censuring” of the internet question.

So WHY? If anyone has a good answer for me, won’t you please try to answer this question. And no the answer is not 42.

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Ego RE:Visited

January 25, 2010 at 11:24 pm (General) (, , , , , , , )

Morning or goodnight to you all!

Last time I started talking about Ego in the middle of everything and it probably seemed like I was just blabbering, like always. Today though I want to talk some more about him, that strange friend that everyone has. When I say “Ego” everyone probably thinks about it like a negative trait in people, but I don’t. “Ego” is just “I”. To be precise it is the “I” in the old language of Latin, not something negative that people actually think. Some of you has probably heard of some of the insults using the word “Ego”. For example “Ah the Ego of that guy”, or “Damn what a big Ego you have”, or something like that. Often times it is used because of someone having the attitude of  being better than everyone.

This is the “Ego” that I want to discuss today, both my own and my thoughts on it but first, be honest to yourself and us, or at least me, don’t you too have thought such things about another person? Don’t worry, this isn’t a persecution or something, but more a exercise for you to open up your mind a little. Let me explain my thoughts. It is quite simple actually, it is a part of our personality and I am almost certain that it is rooted in our animalistic nature. What I mean is that before civilization we was always, and sometimes we still are, following the stronger man, the one who can lead us to survival and prosperity. I have no urge to pursue that further right now, but think about it.

In history we have always looked down upon humans that we have considered as less than us. People who seemed to be primitive to us, like the Japanese before Meiji or the Indians in America when we searched for new land and treasures. Yes yes, I am a European but I am neither proud nor apologetic about it, I am also white for all you that want to persecute or call me racist after this. We in Europe have had slaves, we have brought black slaves to America, heck we BOUGHT black slaves from black people in Africa, that is a fact people. Yes I am not proud of that, but there is also the fact that those people were already slaves but by their own “race”, as people like to say for some reason that is beneath me. We have been using and having slaves long before other colors of the skin was important and that is history. What I want to say is that there is only one reason slaves was possible, we thought we were the better ones and if anyone want to discuss or disapprove of that statement go ahead and discuss it, I am always willing when I have time.

So what was my point? That we are rooted in civilization and in our animal nature to follow the strong and that also leads to suppressing the weaker, or the ones we saw as the weaker. The same has been done for quite some time against the opposite sex, yes I am also a man so three strikes for me I guess. Of course there is a different story when it come to the opposite sex, until Christianity deemed girls and women to be “Impure” a word I can’t really fathom considering the blood soaked history Men has caused. Women was in certain older religions and traditions actually considered holy since they can do one thing that Men can never do! Create life! Anyway we have always been following people based on strength, either physical or mental, or shall we call it by it’s other name Charisma!

But you understand now right? You are not the only one who has ever felt that “I am superior to him” feeling. If you never have, you have either not lived long enough or aren’t stronger than anyone on anything or you are a better person than anyone else or the most likely choice, you are lying, both to yourself and to us, or at least to us. I don’t say that you enjoy that feeling nor that you should. In fact since we always strive to stop being animals we should always try to correct ourselves, but we have to first acknowledge what we have to correct before we can do anything about it. Don’t deny that you have been feeling such things and instead question yourself and that feeling.

Before I continue I have to confess that I too has had feelings of superiority, but I acknowledge that and try to change myself and see other people in different lights than before. But I want us to stop telling us that an Ego is wrong to have! Ego is more than just a feeling of superiority! It is ourselves, it is what we are, what we have become and what we are turning into, it can even be our dreams. It’s an ever evolving creature soaking up surroundings and feelings and growing, turning us into humans instead of animals who only live on lust and hunger. It is what makes us create incredible things and ideas, it is what makes us communicate with each other and most of all it is where all our feelings come from. Ego should be our best friend, he should always be there for us and should always keep himself open to new ideas to get our “Race”, meaning Humans not Color, to evolve into something more than humans and especially animals. Without our Ego we wouldn’t be able to appreciate other peoples touch, different colors, or the simple beauty of fireworks or nature. So stop turning the “Ego” into something negative.

I can discuss this on so many other levels and have much more that I can draw it out, but I hope you who have read understand what my view of “Ego” is. Of course I have only defended the Ego of those people who feels they are superior, I don’t support nor acknowledge their right to feel like that.

I think I have overstayed my welcome right about now, but I only wanted to discuss this with you and please leave a comment or even better write in another blog, if you of course manages to see this before it disappears in the world wide web. But anyone who reads even if you don’t want to drop a comment, think about your “Ego”. How much do you know him/her and have you felt superior and why? If you open yourself to those thoughts than maybe you can learn something about yourself that no one knew or at least that you didn’t know. But most importantly it opens your mind for a world and possibilities that you would never have dreamed of otherwise.

Try it.

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Busy busy!!! Or am I? Who am I? Have you met Ego?

January 24, 2010 at 8:20 pm (General) (, , , , , )

That’s right, I have been quite lax when it comes to writing these past months. But there is a reason, not a good one nor a interesting  one. I have just been too busy, that and I have the mindset that I want to write when I want to write about what I want to write about. I understand that won’t probably bring in any more people reading this, but on the other hand if that was why I was writing, would that really be as interesting then as I would just be a person who has taken a side job without getting paid and how fun would that be for other people to read about?

Anyway what has happened since last is that I am finally done with my course in State science and has started reading Japanese again. It’s both fun and depressing seeing that I apparently has lost quite a lot of my “skills” in the language. But I need to finish this once and for all so I’ll just keep on taking the punishment to my small but proud Ego. Have you met him yet? Ego I call him, a kind and funny one he is. Knows more than he should, is smarter than his grades suggest and sometimes can be a big pain in the ass when he is too proud without any reason whatsoever and when he for some reason always have better understanding of others and what other people should do in certain situations, than his understanding of me and what I should do. But what can I do, Ego is always a part of me, even when I don’t want him to be.

Ah yes now the gay joke of the week or something right? No, sorry I was talking about myself if you didn’t get it. But that is the person I am and are. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. Often though I can have a blast with my self and other friends and sometimes I walk around with a stupid smile on my face. I never know why, just that I am in a good mood for a reason no one knows, not even me. But that is what life is about isn’t it. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes not. Sometimes you have money and sometimes you are poor. Some don’t even have friends and some have several. I can go on and on but there is never one exactly the same as anyone else and that is why the world and people can be so interesting, and that is also the reason why I sometimes wish I had the money or lived in a place where meeting new people would be easy and fun. Not to mention why I want to travel the world on the back of an elephant, living of the street, taking part time jobs everywhere I go just to get money to travel, and to see all the places in a light that no tourist will ever know. Sometimes the thought of escaping this boring-nothing-will-ever-happen-to-me world to try and find my everything-is-an-adventure world instead and just see what we can find on the other side of the oceans.

Ah oh god no. I did it again didn’t I. I slipped, lost my train of thought and slipped into something else. Must be tough to read what I write sometimes isn’t it, seeing as I always write without any idea what to write about and just keeps on rambling like a mental patient on drugs. I really need to change that part of me. Oh and I will try to write something more, and talk about something that can be a little more interesting. I have a few topics to discuss, seeing as I do have a lot of unsaid, unexplored and interesting ideas to talk and discuss about. I do hope some of you may find it in your time or hearts to let me take a few minutes while I do explore some of those and hopefully we can start discussing it, nothing more fun and interesting than having a civil discussion! Anyway that is all the time I can spare for today so… well…. have a nice week or something I guess and I will be back before you know it, or have disappeared from the internet completely.

We’ll see!

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…… Alive

December 26, 2009 at 4:34 pm (General) (, , , , , , )

….. It’s me! I have apparently gotten myself to write something here again. It’s been a while since last.. I have been busy with school and then the holidays showed up and knocked me down so I just woke up and saw the time and felt the need to at least let people know I am still alive.


I am….



But oh so tired. It must have been all that hard thinking I did before the holiday showed up and knocked on my door. Anyway, I am awake once more and I even have a few topics to talk about, I just need to collect my body parts and the few thoughts I call my own and then to recover from the food and I’m in business. So I see you guys around! And don’t do anything that I won’t do!

Oh and a Happy Merry Christmas and upcoming New Year!

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Dreams of a Bill!

December 15, 2009 at 3:57 am (General) (, , , , , )

Yes it’s me again! This time I need to be a little more serious it seems like. You see a representative of the Swedish Pirate Party has been talking about something they call an “Internet Bill of Rights”. This is something which would protect peoples publishing rights and to restrict the authorities to interfere with what should be every citizens human right already. The problem is that this bill of rights is a dream, just a dream. It seems to be a hard bill to get politicians to agree on and pass, especially as every politician nowadays seem to enjoy restricting and taking away liberties from it’s citizens under the false pretense of it being because of terror.

But I don’t want the people that is positive to this bill to stop dreaming. Actually I want the exact opposite since the stronger the dream, the bigger the ambition and the bigger the ambition, the bigger the chance for success so I just want to applaud and cheer them on! I believe that you will fight for this and I expect you to since this might be the answer to keeping our internet free!

This place is the only place where everyone is born equal and everyone will stay equal. Here it doesn’t matter if you are a 13 year old loner or a 40 year old mom. Everyone get to speak their mind, everyone has a chance to let people know what’s on their mind! This is also a place where racism doesn’t exist, at least until you tell people who you are. It doesn’t matter if you are christian or atheist when discussing topics other than religion. Here you can be anonymous to avoid people getting the unnecessary information that can cloud their mind.

I know that racism do exist, but without the necessary information it can’t exist since no one can see if I’m black or white when behind my computer screen writing this. Which can bring forth discussions totally and completely without racist comments and may bring forward pure discussions. Of course there are brats and “evil” people on here too that just can’t discuss anything and has to retort with childish insults, but that is the part of us and the citizens of our beloved country the Internet.

I have unfortunately read a book called “On Liberty” written by John Stuart Mill, where although really interesting can seem to just go on and on with all the examples he writes about. In there he has a discussion about the thoughts and ideas of people in a democracy and why freedom of speech is necessary. He writes, of course I’m totally paraphrasing, that all ideas and thoughts and input is important, doesn’t matter from who or where but it is all important. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad input, or if it’s a stupid idea or not. The important part is that it comes to the surface and people hears it. He says that in every idea, even in the most stupid ones there is always at least a speck of truth. So the more thoughts the more the truth reveals itself to us and the more we can discuss it and more discussions leads to ourselves getting influenced and through that we will also influence the people around us that we are discussing with.

This is important to you and to me. Without this freedom we experience we would have no way to express ourselves freely or to upload our own videos to youtube, just to name a few things. So I say once again people keep dreaming and keep working towards that dream! Otherwise my nightmare may come true, a nightmare where my own thoughts and words will no longer be able to reach other peoples minds and eyes and where I won’t be able to read or experience other peoples thoughts. And that scares me more than death itself!

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Writing for me!

December 15, 2009 at 1:19 am (General) (, , , , )

I’m once again having an evening such as this. An evening where I, even though if I went outside taking a walk I would probably fall asleep midstep and stand like that ’till morning come, can’t fall asleep. No instead I all of a sudden felt like writing something so now I’m once again am sitting here half naked just trying to write myself to sleep. So I’ll guess I’ll just have to do that. Hope you bear with me since I have no real topic today, as usual.

It’s weird, I started this blog because I wanted some place to have an outlet and to get into writing and maybe publish small excerpts where people can or might advise me or something like that, instead this blog seems to be turning into something more of a personal one. Not that I care it’s just funny considering I tried out making one such before, with the usual end of me just forgetting and then not caring anymore. Well not that anyone actually seems to read it, but still it’s kind of fun how things sometimes change into something else than it was intended for.

Well at least I get experience writing, both creatively and thoughtfully. Of course I am far from actually being funny nor experienced but I guess that trying is the best any one person can be. I would though want other people, than those who know me, to actually read what I write in this blog of mine. It would be fun to see what other people would think and best of all might be able to get a few discussions afloat. I have a lot of stuff just aching to come out and expose it’s filthy parts to people and all kinds of topics that are taboo and topics that people might not discuss fully.

But one thing is clear this blog of mine is always gonna be the discussion of nothing and everything. I don’t want to limit it to just one theme like Otaku mania, Political, Religious or any other theme. It’s a place for fantasy and discussion, and who knows if what I am writing one day is the truth or if it’s false. I write because I want to and need to and I would hope that people might read because they want to and enjoy it.

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December 10, 2009 at 12:24 am (General) (, , , , , )

I might have something to confess, maybe. That actually depends a lot on what people might think, of course I’m unfortunately a person who doesn’t really care about what other people think, maybe. You see a certain person was coming over the other weekend. A person who had been missed and I was really looking forward to some sweet kissing time, but then HE had to bring with him a girl…..

Yes I am a man, so what I can’t miss a good friend from time to time or is there something wrong with liking guys? Huh is there IS THERE?

Hahahaha!! Kidding, I’m only joking. Seriously if you knew him, good luck actually liking him at all. As a friend he rocks! But as a boyfriend, OH GOD, I feel sorry for all the girls that falls for him. I mean he actually have ON paper a reason to be heartless, that is bad. So this girl who is it? Oh only his latest victim, fortunately for her she hated him before she liked him, or so she says she can’t say why she hated/hate him. Anyway it was actually quite a nice meeting. Except for her being drunk, which actually turned out to be quite fun and made her lips a lot more loose than usual, apparently. Oh by the way with “lips” I actually meant the “lips” on her MOUTH, pervert!

Now that the storm called “friends” have passed and my test is done, I of course have to make a re-test for another I took a while ago. Something about not enough background but brilliant discussion, yeah right then at least give me a passing grade. So I’m “studying” for the re-test just waiting for it to be released. I sure hope I can have this cat in the bag so I can get on with my “life”. A life that is apparently going to take Philosophy next term, let’s see how that works out. I just hope it doesn’t make me dream or just sit around thinking even more. I mean seriously that feels already like the only thing I am actually doing sometimes.

Now where was I?? Ah, yes confessions… Uhmm… Ahhhh…. Ohhhhh..!!

I like Japan. I have never been there but the culture, history, food and products coming out of Japan just seems so interesting. I mean I watch not only Japanese animations, so called Anime for people not knowing anything better (unfortunately that makes even me use the word wrong), but I even watch Japanese Television Series and can probably give a whole lot of tips for both. I read Japanese comic books too, called Manga (don’t make me go into that word too), listen to Japanese music (I have no idea why I listen to it more than american) and has even learned to speak, read and write Japanese (Oh please don’t mention kanji, I’m terrible at it). Okay okay, I’m infatuated with Japan. Goddammit and I haven’t even been there, which is probably why I still can’t seem to let go of this perfect picture everyone has painted in my head about the Japanese girls. I seriously need to meet some more girls from Japan, only then I can probably see them as simple girls instead of perfect as any kind of series or comic book has shown.

I mean the best way to stop dreaming about something is to see the true nature of what ever it was you was fantasizing about. Like if you when you were little was dreaming about some girl you thought was pretty all you had to do was talk to her for your fantasy to come crashing down into your head, travel down the throat, passing through the stomach and your intestines only to kick you in the balls, from inside your own body. That was basically what it felt like sometimes. Of course, if you also was clever enough to stay there for a while longer thinking, “It might not be so bad”, you quickly understand either A) or B).

A) means JACKPOT!!! Whohoo!!! She’s nice and cute!!!

B) means “SEND ME TO HELL, NOW!!!!” because, well I leave it to your own mind to sort out!

Damn this got a helluva lot longer than expected, but that is what it is sometimes. Can’t just write something nice and “Whohoo I’m done” but has to go around spouting nonsense and what not. As you have noticed, my mind can be kind of muddy, cloudy and confusing, but at least you can be happy you don’t live in it! Of course you can be quite happy that you don’t even live in my apartment, for that same exact reason too. Hmmm!!! Anyway gonna stop “talking” now and probably gonna try to sleep some.

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